Lifes tough but beautiful at the same time

I feel absolute with my decision but i feel i had hurt some people with my decisions. I dont know what the right thing to do. I feel i need to stay strong and have pride. I was hurt too that is why i had a final decision on ending my passion of volleyball. It was personal reasons but at the same time it was my studies getting in the way; however, I felt God was leading me to his path in which I felt i didnt want to follow before. My passions is Nursing. My focus and goal is to impact other people and encourage them through their journey of life, its very hard when someone doesnt accept who you are, but i learned to stay strong and not let others control my decision. they should be happy for me right? maybe a part of me theres something wrong. something that i may not be doing right as a christian;therefore, making me a hypocrite. Im being to selfish and as a student of christ i should be serving others and respecting them. but when someone had hurt you and degrade your passion and love for something its hard to respect them. especially when you feel you had a hard time. it all might be misunderstanding. idk but God has the answers to everything. In servant leadership class, the people inspired me and the principle and teacher told us that we are like a group of birds instinctively going as a group and staying as a group because of insecurity and wanting to protect ouselfs from being alone and denied by. i feel as leaders and servants we should be a individual instead of a flock of pigeons coming after food at the same time in the same place, fighting for something thats not worth living for but at the same time important to survive in this cold world. Society brings us into thinking we need to stay in the culture, be part of a group. but when i think about this God only care about you being an indivual making a difference sacrificing your time and self to be and ecnoureage others through their hard times and their loneliness. This year my goal is to impact others and to encourage their time on earth and tell them that lifes preceious; hwoever, hard at the same time. We must stand firm and strong and trust in the lord for He knows everything about us. I want Him to Lead me and direct me wherever I go. and not let me go alone into a path that ends up in troubles and struggles. Also people are so different. human kinds have different thinking and traits. Its fustrating; hwoever, i need to learn how to be patient in people and how to be a better listener and a more understanding.

Okay so i just got back from the cruise! and it was amazingly fun. i made so much crazy new friends and shared alot of fun experiences with my close friends also. I was like freaken stressing with everything before i went on this trip but I felt God wanted me to have some fun before more stress comes in the way. I saw so many beautiful things throughout the cruise. So many stars above whenever I come to the top deck. Catalina island was amazing beautiful, swimming with the fishes, and jellyfish was awesome, feeling the seaweed underneath as i swam felt honestly amazingly fun and epic. :) God made me see the beauty of nature and the creation of his world especially his creation in the sea. I dont understand why people are careless about the world and environment. I dont understand how the oil spill is not a big deal to some people? and I cant understand how people still dont make a big change when the earths surface temperature is rising drastically. People need to see the complexity of the world. We all need to take a closer look at the world and open our minds. I learn that God has plans and purposes for us. But including stress? well of course he wants us to experience challenges in life but that also comes from our inner mind. We humans tend to think to much and worry about the future in stead of the present. also we tend to keep our mistakes and take anger towards ourselves for making that mistake and not letting it go which my coach told me . Now that Im a senior I have learned so much; however, I will have to face even more difficult challenges in life that i might not be able to handle. But I should have faith, and perserverance. I had so much fun in the cruise, i could not stop laughing, and smiling for every second of the fun moments I had. That experience should be the same when im at home, school, and at work. I should learn to have fun wherever i go and enjoy every moment of it. I am so thankful because God has worked in me and alot of people. Its incredible how God gives us our desires and needs, but sometimes we dont notice that...
People have been brainwashed in this media and society not just people in north korea and such. I feel We humans tend to trap in the bad esteems and we tend to carry on thinking of other things. The world is so complex. and another thing. Intelligence and wisdom are 2 very different things. The man-made world tells us that intelligence is more important and we leave wisdom out into the side line. Wisdom is so important to have in this world instead of wishing for money and love. I desire wisdom becuase its the most precise gift in the world anyone can ever have. I pray for many to ask God for wisdom in their hearts and mind. Wisdom then leads to bringing money to the needy and bringing love to the needy. Caring and goodchoice making takes part in the meaning of wisdom. I also learned to never back down on yourself and stay true to who you are. I began to get a gift of dance but did not know how much I really loved it. Before i was like whatever but ever since the cruise i began to fall in love with dancing more and more. whatever your passion is stay true to it and never let it go. never think it might be invisible to you because its not. Just remember to work out your passions for the good of things not the bad of things. God has shown me to appreciate what I have in this world. I am in awe of God right now.

"you can do all things through christ"

Hello:) How are you doin???
Well i just finished my SAT's but i have to take another one in
March. I was totally not ready for the one i just took but ima definately be ready for the one in march. haha i have lots of confidence..as you can tell.
I just get fustrated with the whole bragging and like such yah noe.( wow i spelled noe wrong..KNOW)
Being Asian is sometimes a fustration especially when if your not smart but you do try your best but people look down on you because they totally expect you to do well academically wise. whatever. ( totally big fragment sentence) anyways...
God has a big plan for me and God has a big plan for you. From experience who cares what people think and who cares what people want for you. TRY YOUR BEST. BUILD AND STRENGTH YOUR ABILITY. ALL THINGS AREE POSSIBLEEEEEEEEEEEE.
BELIEVE YOU CAN DO IT! DONT LET SATAN GET TO You.
try hard . even though youll suffer there will be positive outcomes later on in your LIFE! :)))
LOVE YAH
BYEEE :-))

Day 1

Happy New Years Everyone.

This b my first intro to my blog. I used to journal on my own by hand writing...haha isnt that lame. :D anyways since i go on the comp. all the time why not just journal on the comp. anyways today is the first day of school. Well coming back from winter break, which i did not get to have fun at all. My winter break was pritty chaotic and stressful not chill haha. I felt it was worth it though to study and go to hangwon throughout my break. I need to get smarter :DD hehe. Anyways i dont have a new years solution; pritty sad huh? I think we make resolutions every single day not just every year. I guess its good, but why not start fresh everyday? I feel whenever i make a resolution i always find more popping up into my brain. There are resolutions adding in my head everyday.
Heres my resolution for today to at least accomplish:

• - Be more nice to others
• - remember to ignore or let go of any harm coming in your life.
• - Dont take revenge on others. " When someone slaps you in the face, let them slap you on your other cheek"- Jesus (so hard to do...I know huh)
• - Not be so angry all the time and accept life as it is.
• -realize the littlest things
• -Be confident but not cocky
• -Learn to help others more whether or not they dont give you a good feedback (sign) very hard to do.
• -learn to love life and to dream big for your goals
• -Dont to let anyone put me down and not be too sensitive even by the simplest words from someone.
• -more to come of course